Sick Of It All (**language warning**)

 

 

Sick and tired all the time

Oh how I wish I could rewind

Or fast forward this show

give me somewhere to go…

where my heart is free

where my soul can sing

where I matter in the world

Here, it’s so cold

It numbs me whole

Making me the fool

trying to keep my cool

using me like a tool

life is so cruel

and I’m fucking sick of it.

I want to cut my vein

bring on the end

but loyalty keeps me in

like being bedridden with sin

Is this really who I was supposed to be?

A lonely soul

Living in pain everyday

What price must I pay?

This is all fucked up…

I no longer want to play…

this part of suffering

with loneliness that could shatter worlds

pushing me to look for salvation

in things that only kill the soul

a bottle of booze

a bottle of pills…

fighting everyday to be someone new

Why have I been forsaken?

in all the good I try to do…

It’s not good enough for you?

I’m not alone…but I’m alone

and I’m fucking sick of it…

for my children I will carry on

an empty vessel at sea

pretending to feel free

but being confined by pain

I’ve been forsaken

For reasons I don’t see

I fight the urge to go…

even though

I’m fucking sick of it all…

Out Of Control Ride

 

It gets harder everyday

Praying to outlast the loneliness

Praying to make better choices

Trying not to drown

the voice

inside my head

being held hostage with memories

of loss and pain

the soul forsaken

in the darkness

of wanting forgiveness

everything that was taken from me

feel sick like I’m stuck out at sea

the world is oblivious

to what whirls inside

the war that wages on

does anyone really care

what others bear

what scars they hide

out of control ride

hopelessly wandering

looking for a home

somewhere to belong

loneliness everlasting sting

the hold on the heart

tearing it apart

ripping it from inside

pain seeping slowly

through the veins

of the wicked

of the lost

just searching for a cure

to fit in

wanting to be loved

unconditionally

by the world around them

they know they are alone

no one could know

the pain they seek to hide

out of control ride

does anyone really care

what we bear

the scars on our hearts

the tears drowning our souls

with no where to go…

can anybody really know?

Oh Little Brother

 

Oh little brother

What have you done?

Don’t fret over the mess

Life is nothing less

Time passes by

and we grow apart

but oh little brother

you are always in my heart

forgive the ones that pass you by

forgive the ones who are by your side

receive the blessings of life

in small rounds of laughter

pauses in silence that bring you peace

oh brother I love you so much

not only because I am your sister

because life is a mess

a tangled web of sorrows

not promised many tomorrows

so I want you to know

oh little brother

don’t fret over the mess

life is nothing less

and I want you to forgive me

for time that has passed

forgive me for growing further

from home in my body

know my heart has never faltered

and I love you so little brother

one day I shall be called away

just listen to what I say

Oh little brother…

look at all you have done

don’t fret over the mess

life is nothing less

and I will love you then

even when I am gone

and not only because I am your sister

but because we have grown

from our family tree

I am very proud to see

the seeds you have planted

so oh little brother

don’t fret over the little mess

life is nothing less

just remember

I shall love you forever

 

Familiar Tune

 

A familiar tune

A distant memory of you

I hear your soul singing

Our hearts in tune

The pleasure you gave me

With the songs you would send

My heart is empty

I need a moment to mend

Remembering conversations

two friends til the end

or so we thought

yet a familiar tune

holds the memory of you

when we didn’t have to pretend

we felt something again

together growing towards

a mistake we knew we would make

so we shattered our hearts

saved what was at stake

but the familiar tune

still plays the chorus of our souls

empty hearts show

something we know

a familiar tune

will hold our memory forever

lonely we shall endeavor

So Far From Home

I get homesick

It comes over me like a hurricane

Trapped in the funnel cloud of memories

I long for just one more moment

a moment of familiarity

where we can lie

side by side

on the fields of grass

where you can touch my cheek

tell me everything is going to be fine

I long for remaking of that time

The years have passed

And I’m so far from home

Better for my being

So lonely for my soul

Where did time go?

Do I cross your mind…

when you pass the place

Do you think of me then….

see my face?

Remember you were my muse

I wrote words for only you

Now I’m so far from home

Better for our being

So lonely for our souls…