Sick Of It All (**language warning**)

sickofitall

 

 

Sick and tired all the time

Oh how I wish I could rewind

Or fast forward this show

give me somewhere to go…

where my heart is free

where my soul can sing

where I matter in the world

Here, it’s so cold

It numbs me whole

Making me the fool

trying to keep my cool

using me like a tool

life is so cruel

and I’m fucking sick of it.

I want to cut my vein

bring on the end

but loyalty keeps me in

like being bedridden with sin

Is this really who I was supposed to be?

A lonely soul

Living in pain everyday

What price must I pay?

This is all fucked up…

I no longer want to play…

this part of suffering

with loneliness that could shatter worlds

pushing me to look for salvation

in things that only kill the soul

a bottle of booze

a bottle of pills…

fighting everyday to be someone new

Why have I been forsaken?

in all the good I try to do…

It’s not good enough for you?

I’m not alone…but I’m alone

and I’m fucking sick of it…

for my children I will carry on

an empty vessel at sea

pretending to feel free

but being confined by pain

I’ve been forsaken

For reasons I don’t see

I fight the urge to go…

even though

I’m fucking sick of it all…

About JustOrdinary

Hello my name is Rachel…around here I’m best known as Just Ordinary. I created this blog page to share pieces of my life with you, the reader, also to share my projects, and writings. This blog page I have created is a collection of realty and fiction. Not everything I write pertains to me or my life.

Posted on Sunday, September 22, 2013, in addiction, depression, health, journal, Journal Pages, life, personal, Poetry, prose, Suicide, thoughts, writing and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: