Helpless, Hopeless

I see red
When your image enters my head
I feel violent
When thoughts of you creep in
I must fight the rage
From scars you’ve left behind
One day everything is going to be fine
Hang onto to that thought
Even with all the bleeding you brought
Bled from my eyes
All the times I’d cry
Bled at my ears
Listening to your fears
Bled with my stomach
Binge, puke, looking for comfort
Bleeding in my soul
As you never seem to go
Need something to block the memory
I feel lifeless inside
Only torture left to keep
Let me take a moment
To gently weep
I feel hopeless
To ever be free
I feel helpless
Lost at sea
I wonder life blind
As you are always near by
Out of the corner of my eye
I see red
As you crawl in a stranger
A voice heard makes me shiver
A scent overwhelms my sanity
I smell your decay
As memories rush in so unkind
Unforgiving loss of my virtue
Urge to just run from you
Yet it isn’t you I see
A stranger has your presence
Grasping onto reality of life
As the illusion tries to win
I feel hopeless
To ever be free
I feel helpless
Lost out at sea
I hear you over my shoulder
Lingering with your empty laughter
The rage bubbles so close to the surface
Turning to do you in
To rip out your heart and shit down your throat
Though it isn’t you
A stranger has your presence
I long to keep my reason
My heart is now committing treason
I feel hopeless
To never be free
I feel helpless
Always lost out at sea

About JustOrdinary

Hello my name is Rachel…around here I’m best known as Just Ordinary. I created this blog page to share pieces of my life with you, the reader, also to share my projects, and writings. This blog page I have created is a collection of realty and fiction. Not everything I write pertains to me or my life.

Posted on Sunday, March 13, 2011, in journal, Journal Pages, life, personal, Poetry, prose, thoughts and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. sad, well done.
    joining a community would get you more poetic friends and you feel encouraged …in the end,

    invite you to join poets rally week 40…
    simply visit me for details…all submissions are to be represented by the end of the week.
    Happy Writing.
    Looking forward to seeing you share your talent with us.
    You rock.

    all free and fun.

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