Lump under arm, cancer possibility.

Well I’ve had a lot on my mind this past week. I had found a lump under my arm about 3 weeks ago, it didn’t hurt and it wasn’t that big. I never thought about it again until about a week ago when I noticed it had gotten larger. Immediately I got on the Internet like I always do to figure out what it could be. Can be some pretty scary stuff. I called and went into the doctor.

The doctor confirmed what I had read on the Internet. He had done a breast exam and they were lump free. He checked out the lump under my left arm. He said if that is a lymph node then that is a large one. What does that mean I asked him. He finished the exam and I sat up. This is the part of the situation I never really wanted myself to be in.

“Well Rachel,” he said, “it could be a number of things; some of them bad and some not really a big deal. It can be Hodgkin’s, non Hodgkin’s, infection in your body, lymphatic disease of another kind, or it could be just a fatty tumor.” I was in shock from the moment he said Hodgkin’s. I really had to fight to try to pay attention to him because I wanted to go off in my head with the thoughts that were lingering instead of listen to him but I knew I had to pay attention. He ordered blood draw and an ultrasound. He said we have to find out what the lump is before we go forward with anything. He told me not to worry myself to death over it right now, just wait and see.

“OH YEAH that is easy for you to say pal!” screaming inside my head.

“Well I’ve some bad run of luck with health issues and cancer is very thick in my family Doc but I’ll try not to worry.” I said to him.

He left; I got my top back on and sat in solitude waiting for the nurse to come back with papers and orders. I sat there thinking isn’t this just bullshit! I quit smoking to avoid my biggest fear, cancer, and here I am. I’m in the seat my dad was in 13 years ago, in the seat my aunt Eve was in 5 years ago, the seat I wanted to avoid at all cost. What am I going to do if this is cancer I thought to myself as images of my kids floating through my mind?

I know the chances of cancer are pretty high seeing that I was a dumb ass and smoked for 15+ years. It runs in my family as if we all have adopted it. I always go to the worst of course too and I know this so I was trying to push myself into denial. Denial is so friendly feeling, and calming isn’t it? I wanted to go there so bad but I couldn’t with the symptoms facing me, health history, family history and just my damn luck.

I’m only 31. Almost 32. If it is cancer I could see a five-year survival rate. That would make me 36 or 37 when I’d have to worry about the cancer returning with a vengeance. That puts me back to fighting it, which could be two years and eventually it would probably kill me. I’m looking at 40-45 if I’m lucky to live to. This is what I was thinking sitting in the car out in the parking lot before I left the doctor office. Not that I was counting myself out, but I was just trying to see the future outcome if it does turn out to be cancer. That is a good scenario I played out in my head. It could always be worse. It could be a rapid growing cancer that doesn’t die with chemotherapy treatments and in that case I’m looking at less then five-year survival rate. That makes me 37 my average chance age to live to.

Something crazy is while the doctor is telling me in the room that this lump could be cancer I’m also thinking to myself I sure could use a fucking cigarette right now. How fucked up is that? The one thing that most likely put me in this situation I’m thinking is a good idea to have one! That just proves to me that it is one strong addiction.

Anyway I don’t know yet if it is cancer, a fatty tumor or any of the other stuff the doctor said it could be. I really am trying NOT to worry about it being the worst but that is so hard for me to do. Wish I had my dad to call right now….I have been worrying about lung cancer for over 12 years never, ever did I think lymphatic system cancer. I even worried some about ovarian cancer at times but lung was my biggest fear and worry. So many cancers….still no cures. I’m scared I won’t lie. I also have faith. My faith and belief in God will get me over this hurdle whatever size the hurdle be. I’m a fighter like my aunt Eve. I miss her too.

I have survived an eating disorder, physical abuse, a drug habit, sexual abuse, shingles, fibromyalgia, death of my best friend dad, death of my aunt Eve, and the tumor in my back. None of those have shaken my faith away nor will they take God out of my heart or life. If it turns out to be cancer it won’t either.

I’m going to post a prayer on my page. Just leave your first name if you want to pray with me or if you want me to pray for you. I believe.

Thanks for reading. I hope you all come back soon and I have good cancer free news to post on Wednesday. God bless you all. Be safe.

My reason for living.

My reason for living.

Posted on Sunday, August 2, 2009, in faith, family, health, journal, Journal Pages, life, medical, personal, thoughts and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 23 Comments.

  1. I’ll keep you in my thoughts. Good luck, and just know that the blogging community is here for you!

  2. I’ll say a prayer for you, keep on the positive side of things.

    Raven
    http://cherokeebydesign.wordpress.com/

  3. Hi, I also found a small pea size lump under my arm.. not armpit. more like the fatty part of the arm. I’m having a biopsy on thursday, 8/13. I went to the surgeon last week he felt it didn’t speculate, just said let’s take it out. I’m soooo scared!!!!
    Did you get blood tests back, r u going to have a biopsy? Please let me know how you made out and i’ll also let you know. Thanks, feel good, Angela

    • Hi Angela I went in and had an ultrasound done but all they told me was that it didn’t appear to be cancerous at this time. To keep a check on it.

      I am going for a second opinion on September 5th. I went to a regular GP this time who only ordered the ultrasound and blood work to only check my thyroid and nothing else. I’m not very confident in the doctor’s choice of action where this is concerned considering my past length of time smoking, cancer history in my family and the other symptoms I have at this time. He should have done a complete blood work up, a mamogram since I’ve 31 and maybe even other tests that I’m not aware they do when searching for breast or lymphoma type cancers.

      Thank you for wishing me well. I hope you turn out with great news. God bless and be with you.

  4. Just to add another comment from another Angela, I wish the both of you good luck.

    I’m 33 (nonsmoker) and discovered a lump under my armpit on July 22, 2009. Ironically it was the day after I saw my GP (a new one but clearly not a good one) and she did a breast exam. Clearly it wasn’t thorough enough. I didn’t think anything of it but I mentioned it to my Gyn (who I saw a week later) and she of course immediately ordered an ultrasound.

    It took a couple of weeks to get the results and I’ve been in denial – especially since my lump has gotten smaller (there are times I have to really search to find it). My Gyn said the results came back fine but that I might want to have a specialist look at it and may be do a biopsy. But she didn’t give me a referral to anyone – just a phone number to call where a bunch of specialists have a practice.

    I let the ball drop because well I’ve been denial as I said before. But it has weighed so heavily on my mind. So I made an appt for next week.

    It’s very scary. No one in my family or any friends have ever had cancer so all I know is what I read and what is on the tv. I have not even told anyone so it’s a breath of fresh air to write this.

    Good luck again to the both of you. I hope everything works out ok for all of us.

    • Angela I am so sorry to hear your dilema. My prayers will be with you that everything will turn out like it did for me, nothing to worry about. It is a scary thing to go through but whatever the outcome remember that the blogging community will be here for you if you need support.

      Best of luck!

      JO

  5. And here I am, 24 years old on the Oct. 12, female, not smoking, not drinking, clean. :) But last night, I noticed there’s a lump under my right arm. It seems only “feelable” when I flex my arm. Don’t tell me I have cancer!

    • Because on Aug. 14 ago, I was diagnosed with a Popliteal Abscess on my left knee! An I&D was done on Aug. 28, and later the seam was opened and re-sutured on the Sep. 03. My knee isn’t fully healed yet – and the worst thing is, I got Foot Drop!! — and now another lump is coming?! God, what’s going on with my life, really??

  6. i find a lump under my right armpit . i went to the doctors and he check it and i have to go back in month time

  7. prayers god has a plan for all of is. if you pray, why worry and if you worry why pray HE got your back

  8. i find a lump under my right armpit and it is not painful at all.
    so i went to my my doctors he told me it my swollen glands .
    but i got cancer runs in my family and i told the doctors that.
    he did not do full examination on e at all , so want would i do about it ,should i go back to my doctors about it.

  9. Today I am just as scared. I have discovered a lump under my right armpit which is a pretty good size. I have been having pain under m armpit for months before i felt the lump and I recently felt the lump while doing my monthly breast exam. Breast cancer runs on both sides of my family so I am pretty nervous, but I have faith in my GOD and I will be in prayer. I will take him into that doctors office with me when I go.

  10. I have just found a lump in my right armpit 3 nights ago and went to the doctor today who has scheduled me for a diagnostic mammo and ultrasound on Tuesday….The lump is hard and feels like two like an 8 not painful but every now and again i get sharp shooting pain so bad it makes my face hot.I am so nervous had cervical cancer 3 times in my 20’s
    Praying for all on this board.

  11. Hi-

    Just wanted to follow up. I recently found a lump under my left arm.

    Thanks,
    Crystal

  12. Hi I have been going to the doctors for around 10months with a lump under my right arm .3doctors have felt it on different occasions but I went back last week as it seems to have gone bigger and is painful at the min as it sometimes isnt . Anyway she did a few sets of blood and I had to wait 2days (feels like forever). I phoned her to ask what the next steps are the day after and she said when my blood results return she can decide which specialist I need too see for a biopsy OMG ! Biopsy so I’m scared to death now . My bloods have come back this morning and they are clear so the wait continues as the doctor is due to phone me this afternoon and explain what’s next. I’m terrified :(

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  14. hi there ive just found a lump about the size of pea under my right armpit,, ive got an appointment at docs, but im scared as my nana had breast cancer and had doubke masectomy, my mam has had a few scares plus her sister,, im 38 years old,, on reading peoples comments why is it always the right armpit???

  15. I have a large lump under my left arm….my prayers go out for you… I am petrified… I have DCIS in both breasts… and terrible pain in both since the biopsies about 2 yrs ago… I will then have surgery to remove the lump but If the lump is not cancer what would they do still remove it ??? My husband says it feels like it is in a muscle… what blood tests should I have ??? The Drs say it is a lymph node….

  16. i dont know how i can start but me to i have lump under my left arm i am male 22 years i find it 2 days a go i fraide be a cancer i pray for you my friend and for every body and for My self Faith and faith

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