Monthly Archives: May 2009

Evelyn

Evelyn 5-27-09

I was by my flower garden today
I thought about you
Every day I miss you dearly
My breath comes barely
As the weight bares down on my chest
As thoughts of you wander through my mind
Memories of our loving times
The tears and the laughter we shared through the years
All of it rushing through my tears
I never thought I could miss someone so badly
I never thought my heart could ache so deep
The loss is forever for me to keep
You were such a gift in my life Evelyn
I hope one day to meet you in heaven

Love Your Niece
Rachel

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My Good-Bye To You

I know you’re fading
I know we’ll have to say good-bye
You’ll hold our hands
You’ll tell us not to cry
When you lie down to rest
We’ll ask over and over why?
There is so much left here for you to see.
Children will grow, adults to be
You’ll not witness marriages
More children to come
Before all that you’ll be called home
We love you now
We’ll love you when you’re gone
Forever our loving memory you will be

Update on FNL with Pancreatic cancer & My life with fibromyalgia

(FNL-Father N Law/ MNL- Mother N Law)

Hello everyone. Sorry I haven’t put anything up with any real substance. I’ve been avoiding the FNL and pancreatic cancer subject. It hurts to think about it. My health hasn’t been the greatest either.

I’ll give you a quick update. My FNL is losing weight each week, but his spirit is still up. His appetite is steady so I’m happy to hear that. He takes his chemotherapy every time it’s due & that takes five hours. He is usually exhausted afterwards and takes a good week to recoup from it all according to my MNL. I only have phone contact. We haven’t been able to get back over to visit. My husband is going over to spend some time with his dad though this coming week for a few days. It will be good for him and his dad.

I was going to have my tubes tied but decided to have a five-year UID instead. That procedure went OK but boy my uterus wasn’t happy for a few days at all. I still have times during the day where I just cramp up. I get to go off the depo-shot so hopefully I lose another ten pounds. My fibromyalgia has not been friendly to me. I’m exhausted all the time but I don’t sleep worth a damn.

I’m trying to come up with a new look for the blog here. It might not stay this way either I don’t know. It looks like I may end up moving the entire blog in order to have a chance to make a little money off of it. I’ll keep you posted on what the future holds on that. I added a poll to the side feel free to vote! Also the stormierachie to the right is my twitter application.

Well I need to get a few loads of laundry done even though I don’t feel like doing it. I’ll post again soon, thanks for reading. Until next time….BE SAFE!

JO

All Because Of You

Shadows of you in this slideshow
Haunting my days and suffocating my soul
Words you’ve spoken
Things you’ve done
No matter how hard I try
I can’t run
All the memories burn in my mind
Crushing my heart inside
No matter how hard I try
I can’t hide

I can’t get over you
I can’t get over your conduct
I feel like a bomb about to erupt
Reliving all my darkest dreams
I can’t stop the tears stream
War inside my head from you

I’ve tried to forgive and forget you
The hurt is too deep
The hate feels so right
Even in the peaceful nights
No matter how hard I try
I just can’t fight
My mind stays at war
Because of your scars
No matter how hard I try
I feel as though I’ve died