Monthly Archives: August 2008

There Was A Time

There was a time

I thought you were here
I felt your breath in the wind
I heard your cry in the drizzle

There was a time

I knew you were gone
The loneliness came in the night
The hurt lingered with the moon

There was a time

I asked for guidance
The path was illuminated by the sunlight
My steps marked along the way

There was a time

I knew you were here
Your presence calming my fear
It was you that caught that tear…

Journal Entry on symptoms

I finished my posting about the nasal sores and sjorgens syndrome. Now I want to put a journal entry in about my health. I have to write it down from time to time in order to give my doctors accurate details. My memory is so damn bad I am surprised I’m not walking around with post-its stuck on my forehead! LOL Maybe I should start huh?

Today was a very tiring day. I did nothing though. I think I paid today for what I did yesterday. I ran the vacuum, did dishes and caught up all the laundry. Catching up laundry includes me hanging it outside on the line. And of course I took care of my two daughters. This little bit of work made me pay for it today.

The nose sore started two days ago. I just need to note that.

Anyways, today I got up took my shower and got ready. About an hour after I did that I was so damn tired I had to lie down. I ate lunch and went to bed with the intent to just sleep 30 minutes. It turned out being like three hours! The fatigue was just too much.

My eyes are so damn dry and I just can’t seem to help them. It was so bad today that I went to the bathroom sink and put water into my eyes with the palms of my hands! This was after I had slept. I did manage to do my dishes tonight. While doing them though my arms burned so bad. I felt like I had lifted weights all damn day.

The nasal sore is really bothersome. I woke up with a dry throat and very sore due to the fact I can’t breathe through my nose right now properly I got air through my mouth while I slept. Tonight will be hell I am sure. I can see tomorrow being a rough morning!

I am up much later then I should be right now too! I usually try to make it to bed before midnight because when I don’t my fibromyalgia gets out of control. It is almost 2am now so tomorrow morning will be rough indeed.

I just had to note about my health tonight since I was here at the computer and thinking about it. I should journal it better, my symptoms and all but I don’t. I just don’t have the energy most days to get down here to type it up. Hell I haven’t had a political chat online in months because I just don’t feel well enough to bring myself downstairs. Isn’t that sad? A person who can’t even go down a flight of stairs….good lord….no wonder I’m depressed so often!

I plan to quit smoking very soon again. That should be fun! Last time I went from December until April…maybe I can do it again and go even longer not smoking this time. Maybe quit for good this time around. They say third time is a charm right?

Well I hope all is well with my readers out there. I will try to post again as soon as I can. Bear with my inability to BLOG everyday, or even every week. Those of you that have already done so, THANK YOU FOR STICKING AROUND! I must have something good here.

Nasal Sores, Fibromyalgia, and Sjogens Syndrome

The nasal sores appear every 2 to 4 months. I have had this problem for at least a year. I’ve done extension research on this problem and unfortunately it has only led me to the conclusion that it is most likely to be nasal impetigo. This is a bacterial infection and our fingers carry this on them.

I’m not sure this is my diagnosis for the nasal sores I get. I have made an appointment with an ENT for Monday of next week. Hopefully he’ll get to the bottom of this problem for me and give me a solution to getting rid of them quickly when they do show up.

As my previous readers know I have fibromyalgia and I have read that nasal sores are common with people who have FMS (Fibromyalgia). This very well could be another plague I just have to live with.

I have found that if you have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia it is possible that you may have an autoimmune disease called sjorgrens syndrome. This might be a diagnosis for me as well. I don’t know. I do have most of the symptoms listed.

Symptoms for sjorgens syndrome:

1. extreme fatigue
2. persistent burning or dry eyes
3. gritty sensations in the eyes
4. difficulty speaking
5. sore or cracked tongue
6. unexplained dental problems
7. dry nasal passages
8. difficult swallowing or chewing

Many experts believe that Sjogren’s has a genetic basis to it. This hypothesis is supported by the fact that the syndrome is often found in families that have a history of other autoimmune diseases, such as lupus, multiple sclerosis and fibromyalgia, and by the fact that it is not unusual to find the disorder in other family members. Moreover, the vast majority of people affected by Sjogren’s are female (about 90% of sufferers), again lending credence to a genetic link.

The information above came from Fibromyalgia Symptoms

I have tested negative for RA factor, and my tests for SLE (Lupus) have been negative. These both run in my family though so that makes it more possible that I may have Sjorgens Syndrome.

Diagnosis of Sjorgens Syndrome:
1. Schirmer’s test – test the dryness of the eyes and mouth. It is a strip they place under the eyelid and bottom lip of the mouth. (saliva-gland biopsy)
2. Blood tests for ANA’s present in the blood stream. ANA’s are anti-nuclear antibodies. They will also test the blood for SS-A and SS-B antibodies.

Low red blood count (Anemia) and abnormal blood testing for inflammation are seen which is the SED rate in a person. (Sedimentation rate)

This syndrome can be a cause of nasal sores. It is more likely to be the cause if you’ve been diagnosed with fibromyalgia according to the fibromyalgia information I’ve read. Don’t diagnose yourself. It is best you reach out to your own GP to get blood tests done for these things if you have any concern or symptoms.

I am not a medical doctor so I can’t give expert advice on what to do if you suffer from nasal sores either. I can only put up information I’ve obtained throughout my search for relief. Always consult your medical doctor for advice on what treatment should be tried and always seek a medical doctor to give you a proper diagnosis.

Soon I hope that my ENT will give me some answers and relief for my nasal sores.

Until next time….

Etched Into Your Brain Forever

I’ve been away awhile. I’ve been trying so hard to get my backyard ready for my shipment of perennials bulbs coming next month. It is a big task that I took on. It is hard to do with my back and recently I have found out I have something wrong with the arch of my right foot! That makes getting the task done even harder. I am determined to get it done in time though. I really have no other choice. The land has to be ready.

That is not why I decided to write in my BLOG today however. I want to discuss death. Yes, some of you are probably saying to yourselves not again, or what is with this woman! LOL

Seriously though. I have been thinking so much about my aunt Eve today. She passed on some time ago but it still feels like yesterday. Doesn’t it always feel that way when someone you love passes on?

You never forget the moment you are told that the person is gone. The details of that exact moment are etched into your brain forever. You never forget who was the one who passed on the news to you either.

I was called about my aunt Eve by my cousin K. I was in my old residence sitting at my dining room table. Yep, it feels like yesterday still.

It is the same with everyone that I love that has passed on. I remember every single moment I was told and who informed me of the news. Of course the hardest was that of my dad. It’s been twelve years now, almost thirteen and it still feels so fresh in my mind and heart.

I wonder why even as so much time passes it still feels so vulnerable, so world crushing, so breath taking to think on those moments or those loved ones?

I don’t ask anymore if with time will it get easier. I know the answer to that one already. It really doesn’t. It isn’t easier by no means; you just find a way to cope through each day in order to survive. You find ways to not break down. Some people may say that is what makes it easier but for me no way. It isn’t easier at all. If anything it is harder. It gets so tiring trying to get through each and every day not being able to make that phone call you were so use to making. It gets so hard to drink that cup of coffee that reminds you of them so often. It is hard to hold back tears that are just on the verge of breaking through the surface of your eyes. It is hardest to watch things change as years pass and children come into the world and those loved ones passed don’t get to enjoy….

No, it doesn’t get easier.

I talked to my aunt Eve every single day. There was not a day that passed I didn’t talk to her. I can’t remember a day in my entire life where she wasn’t present in some way. I miss her so badly folks. I planted some hollyhocks in remembrance of her. She loved those flowers. I put them along my house and I look at them daily and think of her and long so badly to be able to call her and talk to her about gardening. I long to talk to her about a lot of things.

I will miss her today like I do every day that has passed. I will continue to miss her daily in the future. I guess I will struggle through today hoping I find a way to cope with not having her to call. I loved her so much…

I just had to write about her today. I had to tell the world how I was feeling. Thanks for listening. (Reading)

Until next time…