Confusion on depression…

I just don’t get it folks. Nothing is making sense to me. I am so happy in my life but I am so damn depressed. I have a beautiful home that I love so much! I am happy where I live now. I have two wonderful beautiful daughters! My husband is the greatest man I’ve known besides my dad. (Everyone has faults) I have all this surrounding me but I have this depression haunting me at every turn! What the fuck is wrong with me folks? Why is it this way?

I said to myself at one point I was only going to look at the goodness in my life and not even think about the melancholy but it still lurks in my mind. The devil is on my back. I smoked another cigarette yesterday too! The devil is also my depression. I want to write him away…I want him to disappear with my words on paper like he use to but I can’t seem to get that anymore either.

I sit down to write and the only thing that comes out is crap. My rhymes are for children. My stories are for no one. I am working on my novel and yesterday I came up with nothing! Writers block again…

Depression is so hard to understand…


About JustOrdinary

Hello my name is Rachel…around here I’m best known as Just Ordinary. I created this blog page to share pieces of my life with you, the reader, also to share my projects, and writings. This blog page I have created is a collection of realty and fiction. Not everything I write pertains to me or my life.

Posted on Thursday, March 27, 2008, in depression, health, journal, Journal Pages, life. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. maybe you are not depressed… simply an empath… your purpose is to feel a sadness greater than your own… I understand you clearly… namaste

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