Daily Archives: Friday, November 16, 2007
So there I was on the phone with the secretary to make a doctor’s appointment. She asked me when my birthday was. I couldn’t recall my birthday at first and I panicked. She asked again as she probably thought I didn’t hear her the first time. I did hear her the first time though I was just trying my hardest to remember. It didn’t come to me on its own. I had to look into my purse quickly at my DL and tell her. I got the appointment made fighting back tears before hanging up.
I was terrified of what had just happened. I am only 29 years old. How can someone forget the day they are born on at my age? What the hell is going on with my brain and mind? I asked myself as I sat in the rocking recliner crying into the palms of my hands.
This was the first sign of fibro fog. Fibro fog is a cognitive disorder that is associated with FMS (Fibromyalgia) I didn’t know this until this sort of thing started happening to me more often. My first thoughts were of dementia, or Alzheimer’s disease. I was scared to death of what was happening.
There were times I couldn’t remember the year my daughters were born in and it would take some time for it to register at others. There were a few times I felt disoriented while out in the car. What finally made me start digging around for information and asking questions I had been scared to ask before was the time I had decided to go out by myself to buy a coffee. ((I don’t drive far due to the tumor in my back but I do get out once in a while to keep myself from going crazy!))
Anyway, I was out to get a Caribou coffee, which is my favorite. Starbucks has nothing on Caribou. Caribou isn’t far from my home so it is feasible for me to drive myself sometimes. While I was on my way back to the house I felt a sudden case of anxiety and bewilderment. I had no clue where the hell I was or how to get back home. I came to a stop sign trying to put together the scenery but nothing was seemingly helping. I made a right hand turn and decided to pull off the road to try to calm myself down. I knew I was not lost, I knew I had just come from the house for the coffee, and I knew home wasn’t far. It was crazy I couldn’t think how to get back home and I knew this must be something caused by stress I thought as I just stayed on the side of the road. I found a music station that would help me focus in order to keep some of the anxiety at bay. I was hoping to gain my memory back quickly before someone stopped to ask questions.
In a few short moments the anxiety and bewilderment subsided. I was in shock at what had just happened. This is what broke the straw on the camels back for me. When I came home I started looking up things about dementia, and Alzheimer’s disease and found that I wasn’t having that at all most likely. I had just been diagnosed with FMS recently. I thought I would check out if that was something associated with FMS. Sure enough it was something very common with FMS sufferers. It is called Fibro fog.
Each person has a different level of fibro fog I had found out. That day driving was my worse level. I still have a lot to learn about the fibro fog and how to help keep it at bay but like I always say one symptom at a time! I have not had a severe fibro fog attack in about a week. I do however still have very short snips of forgetting my phone number, pin numbers, the current date or current year. The episodes only last about a minute or so and sometimes last less than that. Sometimes I forget words I want to use. I sometimes mix things up when I speak too. You can imagine how scary this is to go through. If you suffer from Fibro Fog I suggest reading this article. It does have some helpful hints and explanations.
Until next time…