We Affect Everything Around Us, even after Death!
What we do while living carries on through life even when we’re gone.
Do you often think of loved ones you’ve let go? Think about the time spent with them when they were here on earth? I know I do everyday. It is strange what the mind can hold. You can remember one sentence someone spoke to you. The memories that linger on, what I want to discuss now.
Will he remember the picture I broke in anger when we first got together?
Will she remember me yelling hurry up you’ll be late? The day I made her cry.
Will she remember the games her older sister and I played with her in the backyard that made her laugh until she cried?
Will he remember the time I called him an asshole the day he decided to leave for a while?
The answers to these questions are yes. They will remember most of that indeed. These are things that can’t be undone. They have played out and have been stored away in the minds of my loved ones. Sad some of the memories they will have yes. I wish I could take some of them back and redo them. I would try to be more patient in the moment. I would try to be more kind in the moment. Good intentions are not that good are they?
Yeah I know some of you will say well we are only human. To you I say that is absolutely correct. We are bound to act out in ways we are not proud of indeed. Is there a way to change that though? Is there a way to act better in all situations? I believe there is. I have not found it yet. I’m still looking. Have you found it? Are you still looking for that? I bet million of Americans regret many things they’ve said and done in what life they’ve lived thus far. I wonder what that regret does to our health? I wonder what those events do to those who carry that memory on?
I wonder how one could focus on making positive memories instead of the regretful ones that will linger on after we’ve passed? Is it possible? I mean we are only human….
Have you ever thought about how you would like to be remembered in the event of your death? I am sure many have. I know I have. I am thinking about it right now as I type this out actually. I mean do you want to be remembered for the embarrassing things you might have done? The cruel things you might have done? The good things you’ve done? Unfortunately all those things will remember you. All of that will wrap together. We only hope the good out weighs the bad obviously. Is there a way to forget the bad or prevent the bad from happening?
I personally am trying to better myself. It is tough. I am trying to be more patient with my daughter. I am trying to be more polite with my husband when my pain levels are high. I am trying to create lasting memories that will make them remember the good parts of me. I would hope that the bad events would be drowning out by the good ones.
I don’t want my daughter crying in her bed one-night missing me after I’m gone. I am sure she will have those times, but during that time I don’t want the memory of her mother yelling impatiently at her bring more hurt. I don’t want her to have that memory doubt my love for her.
I don’t want my husband to be sitting in the chair one evening missing me. I know that he will, but I don’t want him to have a memory creep up that will make him doubt my love for him while I lived. I don’t want him to think of the time I told him he was an asshole in a time he misses me. I want him to remember the better days.
I know, I know, I am dreaming. Those bad events are going to be remembered regardless of what I want. I know for fact because it works that way with my own memories of my dad. Now I don’t have many bad memories of my dad but the few I do have do come to mind when I think of him. One of those memories is very hurtful too. If he knew I carried that memory around I would bet he wished he could erase it.
What we do here on earth carries on even when we are gone. It affects the people around us and helps shape them in some way. Whether it is to influence a decision they have to make. Advice they want to pass on. An action they might repeat that we’ve shown them. We influence everything around us, even when we’re gone.
Things I try to remember now are 1. Things carry on even when you’ll be dead. And 2. Life is short; try to make better lasting memories. As I try to better myself those two things help me along my way I hope. What would I change about myself to make me a better person? That is a list you’ll see in the near future.
Any tips on how someone can avoid those bad memories please feel free to post a comment. The web world would love to hear your ideas!
Until next time…