Funeral Arrangments and Last Wishes
My death has been weighing very heavy on my mind lately. Thoughts about what would my kid’s do, my husband, and the rest of my family back home? I’ve been thinking about what I would want done as far as a funeral and how I could make some decisions easier for my husband and children in the event of my death. I know some of you are thinking right now, “Man this lady is crazy morbid.” Well the fact of the matter is everything dies. I look to the future with everything. That is an Aquarian trait I possess.
I know that when my time comes my family will be hurting badly and decisions will not be easy to make for them so I think to myself why not set up a lot of that in writing for them now. I mean it makes perfect sense to me to do that now because no one knows when he or she is going to die.
As most of my readers know I think about my dad often. I replay his funeral in my head many times. I remember someone asking me about songs to be played during the funeral. I remember how that small decision was so hard to make for me at the time due to the fact my heart was aching so badly. Ultimately I made the decision but it was tougher then anyone could imagine. I chose Go Rest High, (Vince Gill song) and Precious Memories. I can’t even imagine what it was like to decide on clothing, or bible verses to reference. I am very thankful I didn’t have to decide those but I know one day I may have to be the one to do so. I also know my husband or kids might have to decide those things too.
I don’t have all the details planned out but I do have a few things written out. I hope before my time comes to go home to heaven I have finished the rest of it. I want to try to help the decisions be easier for my husband and my children when that time comes. That is, if I am the one to go first. Again, you never know. It is better to be safe then sorry I’ve always heard and I agree.
It took me years to get my husband to finally take the idea of life insurance seriously. He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to discuss death. I think with my back situation, and other health problems I have finally made him realize the importance of not only life insurance, but also plans dealing with burial. He hasn’t shared with me fully what his wishes are and I hope he does soon. I have told him a few things I want done and have no worries about them being carried out. The rest, well it will be in writing.
These are some things I want done in the event of my death:
My funeral is to be held in my hometown. My burial place is to be decided by my husband (if he is living), or children.
My wedding gown is to be given to my oldest daughter and handed down to her sister.
I will be buried with my wedding ring on. I want pictures of my kids and husband buried with me.
My life insurance is to be handled by my husband. Used to pay funeral costs, burial cost, plot cost, and raising our children if they are still at home in the event of my death.
My pall bearers- who I would like to be would be my four brothers, my cousin Larry, Denver, and my nephew Brian.
My brother Jeff, I hope, would give my eulogy. Or be the one to speak to the family and friends.
The music I want played at the time will be:
1. Tracy Chapman “I’m Ready”
2. Conway Twitty “The Rose”
3. Beatles “Let it Be”
4. OzzY “Close My Eyes Forever”
5. Rob Thomas “Little Wonders”
6. Semisonic “Secret Smile”
7. Statler Brothers “I’ll go to my Grave Loving You”
8. TooL “Comfortably Numb cover”
9. Statler Brothers “In the Sweet Bye and Bye” (play at the end of the funeral)
I have chosen nine because I have no idea how many songs would be needed. I would like to have the music playing continuously during the showing. I have specifically picked out a song to be played as people leave the funeral.
Some people are going to think I am morbid and crazy for putting out all these details. That is fine by me because the important thing is to make things as easy as I can for my beloved husband and my wonderful daughters. God knows they will need all the help they can get if I die before them.
I also have letters written for each of my daughters. I have one written for my husband too. They are kept in our small lock box and are to be read after they bury me. That is of course if I die first. I wrote the letters in hopes that it would lift some of the heaviness that will be on their hearts at that time. Perhaps give them some sort of relief in the moment. I know they’ll be wishing to hear me one more time, to hug me, etc. I know because I wish that for my dad, my aunt Eve and other loved ones lost all the time. Maybe the letter they read from me will give them that one more moment I know they’ll be wishing for.
Death is the hardest thing to deal with. It is the hardest thing to try to live past. People say oh it gets easier. Well I’ll be the first to say that is a lie. It doesn’t get easier. You adapt to having a vacant spot in your heart and you live off memories when they are gone. That is the way it has been for me with the loved ones I’ve let go. The good memories are what get me by day by day, especially when thinking about my dad and aunts that have passed.
That brings me to the topic of what we do while we are living. Our deeds count more then anyone could know to those we will leave behind in this world. That’ll be the next posting I do later today. I also plan to share with you the letters I’ve written for my husband and my children.