Angels- do they exist?

Well, I’ve been inspired by DyingMansJournal to write about Angels. This guy has inspired me quite a bit from the BLOG community. It surprises me actually. Never thought someone in a BLOG community could inspire in such a way.

Angels- do they exist?

I have only had one run in with an angel. Well what I think was an angel. That angel was my dad. Let me share the story with you now.

I lived in Wisconsin at the time. I was with A, who is my husband now but not at that time.

I was late. YES, that kind of late. I could hardly believe it. Many doctors told me that children were not a possibility. Long behold the pregnancy test came back positive. I was terrified, in shock, and not sure how to handle this news. A wasn’t sure either!

I went to the first OB appointment and heard the baby’s heartbeat and seen the first picture. I can’t say I was overly happy. I still thought I was too young. I had been 21, a few months away from being 22. He was in college and we were staying in his parent’s basement still, and we had not been together long enough I felt to have a child.

I don’t believe in abortion now and I didn’t then. It was something I was just going to have to deal with some way.

A couple of weeks passed and we had to tell his folks I was pregnant. It would bring me to eight weeks at that time. We told them. They tried to talk about us getting married and that completely freaked me out. I was married once before at 18 and divorced within a year or so. That marriage was NO GOOD so I was not about to jump into another one!

The cramps came. The spots came. I knew something was wrong. I called to get into the OB and at that time I was almost 9 weeks along. I knew when they did the ultrasound that something terrible was wrong.

The doctor left the room for a moment and I was left in silence. I was all by myself. She returned and explained to me what was going to happen. She had asked if I wanted to take a pill to speed the process of aborting the child. I was in shock again. I wasn’t overly happy about being pregnant but I was terrified of a miscarriage…that is what was going to happen. There was nothing they could do or I could do. The baby was dead.

For those brief weeks I thought God blessed me and that I COULD have children and the doctors had been so wrong. Then suddenly it was yanked right out from under me…even though it wasn’t the happiest time to have gotten pregnant I was so happy to know I could have children.

I told the OB doctor I could not take the pill and I asked if I had a day to think over what I wanted to do. She said that I could come in anytime when I decided what I wanted to do. Well I went to his folks house where we stayed and I stayed downstairs in the basement…I cried so much because I got a taste of something I wanted and now it was gone.

I worried that it was my fault because I wasn’t overly happy about the timing of the pregnancy. I felt so guilty!

That night I awoke to major cramps and the bed was soaked with blood. I don’t remember much about that night really. I remember telling A to call the doctor and the next thing I know I’m in the emergency room.

I remember the blood being everywhere and my OB doctor telling me that she had to do an emergency DNC. She put a mask on me and I counted down from 5 and at 3 I was out.

When I woke up I remember screaming the baby is gone. I looked across the room and I saw my dad standing there with a baby in his arms. The baby was wrapped in a light pink blanket and he was rubbing her head. He looked over at me and he had said to me, “She is going to be taken care of Rachel…you will be OK.” And his image faded. I turned my head towards the entrance of the door.

I yelled for A and when he got by my side I remember telling him that the baby was gone and I just cried. That was really tough for me. I should have listed this as one of the hardest things I had to face in my life.

Anyway, that was the only encounter I’ve had with an angel. I just thought I’d share that with the BLOG community.

About JustOrdinary

Hello my name is Rachel…around here I’m best known as Just Ordinary. I created this blog page to share pieces of my life with you, the reader, also to share my projects, and writings. This blog page I have created is a collection of realty and fiction. Not everything I write pertains to me or my life.

Posted on Thursday, March 8, 2007, in Journal Pages, Short Stories. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. I am so sorry for your loss…

  2. I am so sorry to hear of the tragic loss of your baby. I am sure it was your dad sitting there, just as you saw, holding his grandchild. He knew you were in a time of terrible emotional and physical pain. He came to reassure you he was caring for your child in Heaven and for you not to worry. He was assuring you both he was OK and that your baby was OK, he was caring for it.
    Such a tragic but beautiful story at the same time.
    Many undoubtedly will try to explain away your vision as you were hallucinating or affected by the medications or any one of a dozen reasons. But you know what you saw and I for one believe what you saw. I hope you have been able to let go of the feelings of guilt you spoke of , it was not your fault in anyway.
    Thank you for sharing this your very personal story

  3. Yes some have said it was the effects of the gas- I believe of course it wasn’t the gas at all.

    It is a tragic story but you are correct- beautiful at the same time.

    Thanks for reading and leaving your comment Bill.

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